Friday, April 11, 2008

I Must Not Use These Words

Crippers
Crappers

Snippers
Snappers

Shipper
Dipper
Shopper.

I imagine the legions of foul-mouthed parents that try to control their vocabulary in front of their children number in the millions. I am one of them.

I, for reasons I do not fully understand, have created this absurd poetry of pseudo-expletives inspired by way too much exposure to the likes of such brilliant fools as Dr. Seuss, Shel Silverstein, and B. Kliban. Hats off to you all.

The thing is I don't even really like the silly words I've come up with to replace the ones I don't want my son to repeat, but I can't stop saying them to myself.

Of course, these are not the words that come out of my mouth when I'm truly in need of a good, forceful curse. I expect most of you are familiar with the more satisfying variations.

And yes, of course, Lucas knows the bad ones already. In both languages.

4 comments:

AkuTyger said...

Hahaha, I spent a whole morning using the F word trying to put up a palm tree on my wall at school (on a Saturday, no kids in attendance) with Ju assisting me in the background and he started repeating everything I said. It was rather shocking to hear a two year old repeating that word. Last summer (US summer, Brasil winter) a friend of mine brought a German guy with her to visit for a few days and they taught him to swear in German too, so we would spend evenings laughing at him sayins "shitzen" over and over again.

markuza said...

Does this mean we're.... BAD PARENTS??? Man I had a filthy mouth as a kid... I wonder where I learned all that from ;)

BTW I thought it was "sheisse" (sp?) figures they'd had a couple words for it in German...

michelle said...

We were in the car this afternoon and another driver did something stooooopid and dangerous. Jesse, who was drivig, showed remarkable restraint, but I said "What an asshole- oh, shit, I mean poopyhead..." Rosa has a memory like a steel trap when it comes to phrases. I can't wait to see when she chooses to trot out that one...

markuza said...

My uncle used to love to tell the story of when I was sitting in the front seat of a car with him, like four years old, and we stopped at a traffic light. And what did I say?

"Goddamn fucking light."

At least I was four. Would have been worse if I was two...